Something happened at the gym today. You know those scenes in Hollywood movies where that really, really goddess level hot woman walks through some crowded hallway or a street and all the men in a nearby 5 mile vicinity stop and stare, tongues hanging out of their mouths gobsmacked? Well folks, that very same scenario actually occurred in the gym i go to today. It started when i was hitting the old dumbbell bicep blasters (performed exclusively Mondays through Saturdays) when i noticed the yoga pants of all yoga pants appear before my eyes. Instinctively without thinking i immediately dropped the 16's i was holding (16 pounds that is) and picked up or rather dragged over the 45's. It mattered not as she was blissfully unaware of my presence in that (almost empty) gym. As she walked passed, while my eyes were glazed over, i managed to have a quick look around to check you know, if i was a little too blatant in my staring. To no shock at all, i saw that familiar glazed over look in the eyes of my other, fellow gym mates. It was a tense moment. Would anyone make an approach? Would anyone acknowledge the weird vibe circulating through the room as 8 men had decided to fixate themselves on 1 target? That awkward silence was finally and mercifully punctuated by the scream of a short Indian fella by the name Dilip - actually for all i know his name could have also been Akshay, but lets go with Dilip for now - who had somehow managed to drop a 20 kg weight on his own foot. In that moment it took to avert my gaze from yoga pants to fucking Dilip clutching at his foot and rolling around like he'd been shot, she was gone.
Why ladies? Why must you dress so seductively in the gym? Whether its doing fuck all on the ellipticals or slow jogging on the treadmill, why must it be done in a manner that says 'Hi, i really want you to approach me, but actually wait, i don't'. Hell, i may consider joining an All-Male gym just to avoid this mental struggle. How is one supposed to focus on his workout with those yoga pants dangling in front of ones face? I say to hell with those stretchy tight leggings. Bring back the old sweat pants, but not the kind that are secretly disguised as leggings; I mean the kind of Yoga pants a woman would wear after a break up or during the screening of 'The Notebook' (this also applies to one Alexander Makki who is an avid believer in sweatpants). And please, please no more tank tops. Bring back the old loose white T's with the occasional design on them or an army vest or even bulletproof vests.
What i'm basically trying to say is women in gym's are pure evil. They know exactly what they're doing to us but they present a very casual, innocent demeanour in doing so. Avert your gaze lads and focus on that gym time and try not to drown in that never ending wave of yoga pants.
Sincerely, your local struggling gymer
Why ladies? Why must you dress so seductively in the gym? Whether its doing fuck all on the ellipticals or slow jogging on the treadmill, why must it be done in a manner that says 'Hi, i really want you to approach me, but actually wait, i don't'. Hell, i may consider joining an All-Male gym just to avoid this mental struggle. How is one supposed to focus on his workout with those yoga pants dangling in front of ones face? I say to hell with those stretchy tight leggings. Bring back the old sweat pants, but not the kind that are secretly disguised as leggings; I mean the kind of Yoga pants a woman would wear after a break up or during the screening of 'The Notebook' (this also applies to one Alexander Makki who is an avid believer in sweatpants). And please, please no more tank tops. Bring back the old loose white T's with the occasional design on them or an army vest or even bulletproof vests.
What i'm basically trying to say is women in gym's are pure evil. They know exactly what they're doing to us but they present a very casual, innocent demeanour in doing so. Avert your gaze lads and focus on that gym time and try not to drown in that never ending wave of yoga pants.
Sincerely, your local struggling gymer
god damn women dont come to my gym. the only one that does is this fat ass woman sadly in yoga pants
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